Writing is Hard

I want to post a piece of writing every Friday. But writing is hard.

There is an expectation to make the piece great. A fun read. A riveting tale. But that’s not true. Because here is a riveting tale:

Jack and Jill went up a hill. Both with a buck and quarter. Jill came down with two-fifty.

You see. That was an entire story. Wrapped up in a mere 19 words.

Fuck it. Here is a story.

A Fish Walks into a Bar

Once upon a time, there was a fish. The fish was blue with big fish eyes and five pairs of gills.

One day, the fish was told to visit a customer. This customer was far away so the fish needed to fly. This fish hates to fly.

When it was time to leave for the flight, the fish was late. The fish arrived at the gate as the flight attendant was closing the door.

The fish settled into a cramped seat, and the plane left. The fish fell asleep.

The plane landed with a screech, and the fish woke up. The fish waved to the flight attendant and said “I need to get a cab.” “Ground transportation is on the second floor” the flight attendant said.

“Where to?” the cab driver said. “Take me to a bar.” “Do you have a preference?” the cab driver said. “Any bar will do.” The fish said.

The cab driver drove to the nearest bar. The fish got out of the cab and walked into the bar. The fish sat down at the only seat available. Above the bar was a large menu of food and drinks. The fish looked at the menu, and ordered a drink. “Bar keep, a drink.” The fish said.

The fish was worried about visiting the customer. This customer was the type to demand the world and expect to pay nothing for it. But it was a big customer so the fish had to play nice. This thought made the fish drink. And drink.

An hour had passed and out of nowhere, the fish started to shake and fell to the floor. The fish began to flop violently. The fish was nocking over tables and flipping chairs. Everyone stopped and watched.

After a few minutes, the fish lay silent. The fishes gills stopped moving. And those round fish eyes, stared blankly into the distance. “Don’t worry. Nobody panic.” The bar keep said. “I know what to do.” The bar keep walked up to the fish, and with great accuracy, kicked the fish directly in the gills. The fish slid across the floor and smacked into a wall. The bar keep walked up to the menu, and in big letters wrote, “Special Of the Day – Fresh Wild Caught Fish – $14.99“