- Failure is good.
- Don’t be correct.
- Decide simply.
In recent years, I have been obsessed with learning. I am geeked how we can begin a new skill, be horrible at it, fail, retry, and eventually, compounding this over time, master the skill.
The book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You, by Cal Newport, is about how to create a fulfilling life using the idea of learn, fail, improve, repeat. In the book the author debunks the idea that passion alone can lead to a fulfilling life. He calls this the passion mindset. The passion mindset is the idea that if you follow your passion, it will be your guide to a fulfilling life. To the author, following your passion is horrible advice. Instead, he advises the craftsman mindset. This mindset makes any path you choose in life fulfilling. Why? Because the focus is inward, not outward. The passion mindset says “what can this world offer me?” The craftsman mindset says, “what can I offer the world?” The craftsman mindset is the relentless focus to be as good as possible, and when you are the best, you will not be ignored.
This article is about three steps to create a fulfilling life. A bit grandiose I know. I am the last person who should be handing out advice on how to create a fulfilling life. I’m forty one years old and the only foreign country I have visited is Tijuana. The book Man’s Search for Meaning was written by an actual holocaust survivor for God’s sake. I can’t even begin to offer better knowledge than that. But alas… in my own small way, I feel that I have a little nugget of knowledge I can share, and I would like to share those ideas here.
Failure is Good
Looking closely at the word success, we find an ideal. Success is absolute. It means we either have it or we don’t. Here is an important point: when we fail, we are actually getting closer to success, not further away. It is hard to see it in the moment, but if we treat failure as victory in disguise, there is no better teacher.
The only way to learn is my failing. Because failing tells us how to do better next time. We can’t learn from success. If we do something correct, how can we learn from it? We can’t. Because there is no pain. The pain of failure offers a guide post. An anchor into reality.
Success can be useful. Use it as a gauge of progress. Success is telling us if we are learning from our failures. Because if we never see success, there is a problem with how we are using failure as a tool.
Seek out failure, don’t seek out success. Success will happen automatically, from the relentless pursuit of better. Failure is always there. Failure is not something to fear but something to embrace. Try. Fail. Try again. Fail better.
Don’t be correct
I am not correct: I am not correct about these ideas. I am not correct about the foods I eat. I am not correct about how I raise my kids. And my wife will vouch for me when I say… I am not correct about the style of clothes I wear.
I am not correct because I can’t be. By definition correct is free from error. In other words, perfect. And no one is perfect.
Once we say the words “I am correct,” nothing is further explored. And to make matters worse, we take additional steps to reinforce our beliefs. This is called confirmation bias. Every argument is based on this idea of correctness. No matter how strong an argument is, there is no way to change a belief. Unless the person is willing to change.
To be clear, our goal is not to be correct but to move towards it. Correct is unobtainable. All we can hope for is to be less wrong today than we were yesterday. Every step we take towards correct, we become less wrong. This is the process of constant improvement. Becoming less wrong means we are moving closer to correct.
Everyday, ask: what decision can I make, to be less wrong than I was yesterday?
Decide Simply
We have already discussed why avoiding failure is not the path to a fulfilling life. Why avoiding opportunities of growth because of the chance of failure, is counter to a fulfilling life. Remember: success is because of failure.
Make decisions that challenge you, and let failure teach you.
Further, we have discussed not to use those fateful words, “I am correct.” Because this represents the cessation of thoughts and ideas and will hinder growth and development. Look deeper and challenge them.
Make decisions that challenge believes. Be less wrong rather than correct.
We now have a frame work to guide our decision making process. By following these two ideas, we will start making higher quality decisions. But what about the decision making process itself? How can we make better decisions throughout the day? Is there a way to improve the decision making process?
One way is to simplify. We literally make thousands of decisions a day. What if we made less? Ever been to In-n-out? The menu is short. Burger and fries, that’s it. The short menu helps us make better decisions, and make them faster. So why not try this with our list of daily decisions? Shorten the list. And make better, faster decisions.
Another way to improve our decision making process is to automate decisions. Consider the morning routine. The morning routine has been touted as the productivity hack of the century. It is an opportunity to begin with a series of actions that make the day a success. Here is a list of fifty suggestions from the website inc.com. Pick five to ten items from the list and make a morning routine. Now, repeat this routine every morning. Making minor adjustments as the pattern gets more familiar.
How can this automation idea be applied to other parts of the day? A work schedule can be automated similar to the morning routine. Choose blocks of time in the day dedicated to certain tasks and develop a repeatable work routine that maximizes the day.
Conclusion and Take Away
- Embrace failure. Failure is apart of the process and is not to be avoided. Be excited when failure shows up. Because it means you get to be better.
- Don’t be correct. When we say we are correct we step in concrete and become stuck. No one is correct. And once we realize this, we can begin making efforts to be less wrong.
- Decide simply. Sit down for an hour and write out a typical day. What are the decisions you see? What decisions can you eliminate or delegate. And for the remaining decisions, which can you automate?
Well folks. That is all I got. I have said what I feel needs to be said on this topic. And I hope you don’t stop here. If you would like to learn more, here is a list of books that I have read that have helped me along my journey:
- The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin
- So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport
- Deep Work by Cal Newport
- Principles by Ray Dalio
- 12 Rules for Life by Jordan B. Peterson
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
- How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big by Scott Adams
- Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins
- The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
- Ultralearning by Scott Young
My hope is that even a sliver of one of these nuggets can fill in the gaps to help you live a more fulfilling life.
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