Selfish – (of a person, action or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s personal profit or pleasure.
In this post I’d like to tackle the idea that we can’t do things for other people. We can only do things for ourselves. And how useful this can be.
When we donate money. We are doing it for ourselves. Not for the homeless.
When we lift the car. We are doing it for ourselves. Not for the baby.
When we feed our kids, drive them to school, send them to college. We are doing it for ourselves. Not for our kids.
When they strap a bomb to their chest. They are doing it for themselves. Not for Allah.
This is true because of our physiology. Because everything we do, every decision we make, are all controlled by our brains. We physically can only do things for ourselves. Why? Because our ancient brains have only one task to perform: self-preserve. Every decision we make in life is framed around self-preservation. And preservation of the self.
Every action we take is for our survival. It can’t be any other way. How can our brains make us move and act for someone else’s brain?
Every grandma we help cross the street, every dollar we donate, every cat we save, every verse of the Bible we recite, is all driven by selfishness. This includes priests. The fact is priests are the same level of selfish as everyone else in the world. They have to be. They have no choice. It’s no different than a momma cat caring for her kittens. She is feeding and watching over her young for herself. It is in her DNA.
But this is where this gets good. Those cute and cuddly kittens benefit from their mom’s care. Momma cat’s pure selfishness is the one thing that keeps the kittens alive.
And that is the point of this post. The point is to illuminate the idea that:
Trust is created from the alignment of self-interest.
When we use this frame work, we now understand that no matter what we do, we do it for ourselves. Now it’s easier to be a better human. All we need to do is be ourselves. Our typical selfish selves. And ask the question: “does what I want align with what other people want?”
Be as selfish as possible. The more selfish the better. And find that sweet spot where what you want is what other people want.
to get the things you want in life, help people get what they want.
Zig Ziglar
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