Choice: The right or ability to make, or possibility of making, such a selection.
Choice. It’s more powerful than I realized.
What is taken away from prisoners? Choice.
What is taken away from the oppressed? Choice.
Without choice, our sense of self suffers. We lash out against “the man.” We talk back to our parents. We argue at work. We assert our rights against the government. This is a universal trait in humans. A human who is forced into something will resist. But a human who feels it is their choice will be open and willing to be changed.
How to use choice.
In the example of corporal punishment, all choice is removed from a human. Is this effective? Well I don’t have an alternative to imprisonment so keep our prisons open for now. But what about another example—kids.
What is the proper balance of choice for kids? Young humans need help. We come out of the womb weak and vulnerable and need help for many years before we become self sufficient. During this time kids begin to explore choice and it’s up to the caregivers to help kids navigate this exploration.
Everyone has a different method of deploying choice. Some micro-manage choices to have more control. Making choices for the person. Some will allow the person to explore choice by not intervening. But again, there must be a good balance between these two extremes.
So choice is then managed. Choice in America is something to take full advantage of. Choice needs to be exercised. But societal limitations restrict us. The law attempts to balance choice and if bureaucracy is piled on top of that, creativity and exploration is squashed.
If you want people to act a certain way, give them choice with the proper guidance.
People want to feel like they are making their own decisions. If they are forced in a particular direction they will resist and fight back. When I take my cat to the vet, I need to get it into the travel cage. He puts up a fight. The alternative is to give him a choice. But I know he will not choose to go into the cage. But if I fast him for 24 hours and then place some tasty treats in the cage—he will choose the treats and go into the cage willfully.
How can we take this cat example and use it on people? I suppose it is a matter of alternatives. For example, if I want my kids to clean their rooms, how do I get them to choose to clean their rooms? One way is to threaten them. “I will take this thing away if you don’t clean your room.” What are some other ways? Can I starve them like I did the cat? I don’t think that will get them to clean their room, but it would get them to choose food they normally wouldn’t choose. I could use reward. “Clean your room and you will get this.” That could work but kids get so much crap these days they have no incentives. I would have to offer the latest iPhone to get them to do anything. What about the satisfaction of having a clean room? Well if they wanted that I suppose I wouldn’t have to figure out a way to get them to clean their rooms. What if I created a system for them?
The Fifteen Minute Marvel
My fifteen minute system would work for this. A world of change can happen in fifteen minutes. The fifteen minute system is a daily practice of improvement. Anything can be improved in fifteen minutes. And the act of doing it daily will turn it into a habit. On day one, fifteen minutes will not get the room totally clean. It might take a few weeks or a month to get it where it needs to be. But once it is there, the fifteen minute system will get the room clean in no time. And this fifteen minute strategy can be applied to anything.
The foundation of the system is a to-do list. First, establish the to-dos that need to be happen for the desired outcome. Checking off the to-dos during the fifteen minutes is very rewarding. Then, when the fifteen minutes are up, the whole thing gets checked off. If something needs longer than fifteen minutes and you can sustain it, go for it. But fifteen minutes is the minimum.
Ultimately people can’t do it on their own. They need a plan. A system they can use to help them. And it’s important that the system has rewards built in. And the steps are clearly laid out. And the person needs to be reminded. The Fifteen Minute Marvel.
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